Cryptic Cleaning Woman

dustingLast weekend I met a woman at a bar who apparently works for a cleaning service in Salt Lake City. The two of us were sitting at the bar with a stool between us when she leaned over and whispered in my ear, “I am concerned about reducing my carbon footprint.”

Naturally I was a little taken aback and asked her what she meant by this.

She responded with something to the effect that cleaning homes actually helps the environment and that improving the cleaning process is something people can feel better about.

I was not really sure what she was talking about but she happened to be pretty so I nodded as if I agreed with her.

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She kept talking. “When we clean,” she said, “we use a unique ‘Truly Green’ cleaning system, improving our clients’ safety and health by improving air quality and maintaining high cleanliness standards. We want your family and pets—not to mention our cleaning staff, not only to live longer, but better. Our company fully commits itself to sustainable practices within the green cleaning industry.”

“That’s great,” I told her wondering if she was simply making conversation or giving me a sales pitch.

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“Many people are aware that homes can make cause illness,” she told me. “Even if a home does not specifically have mold or require a deep cleaning, a thorough cleaning will always have a positive effect.”

I told her that I agreed with her pointing out that whenever I clean my apartment I feel better.

She then said, “We offer steam cleaning, deep cleaning, regular services, spring and seasonal cleaning, laundry, housekeeping, and cleaning before a big move and we do it all in the healthiest way possible.”

“That’s great,” I responded not exactly sure about the best way to respond to her. She smiled, got up from her stool and walked out of the bar. I never saw her again.

Aussie Plum Scentsy Bar

ScentsyYou are cordially invited to join Scentsy. When you become a Scentsy sales consultant you will enjoy the exquisite privilege of selling the Aussie Plum Scentsy Bar. You will know perfectly well why I say it is a privilege to sell this product once you inhale its sublime vapors. The product description relates that the scent is a “[m]elange of juicy plum, pink grapefruit, and tart pomegranate with smooth vanilla.” But I do not believe this mere collection of words does the actual experience any justice. Of course in this article I can only provide an additional collection of words to express how wonderful I believe this product to be. Truly no collection of words can come close to duplicating the gnosis of nasal ecstasy the Aussi Plum Scentsy Bar will invoke.


When I think of the mysterious and exotic continent of Australia many distinct images come to mind. Of course I see cuddly Koala bears sitting in trees munching on eucalyptus leaves. There is also the playful kangaroo hopping through the outback with a joey in its pouch. There is the Great Barrier Reef with all its colorful, underwater glory. I see thousands of miles of beaches with surfers lying on beach towels drinking a large can of Fosters beer. I see the mysterious Ayers Rock in the center of the continent and lanky, dark aborigines going forth on a walkabout. A duckbilled platypus waddles past followed by a dingo and a wallaby all the while I hear the serene hum of a diggery doo playing in the background. These are the down under images that come to mind when I smell the Aussie Plum Scentsy Bar.
Again, I can only provide a collection of words. But when you join Scentsy and are able to smell the Aussie Plum Scentsy Bar you will then know what I am trying to express.

Memories of My Wedding Venue in Salt Lake City

wedding2I barely remember my own wedding. Of course I remember the wedding venue in Salt Lake City. My wife and I met in pre hurricane Katrina New Orleans where we were both law students. I moved there from New England; Connecticut specifically. She came from Salt Lake City which is why we decided to get married there. Looking back on it, it was sort of a rash decision on our parts to get married between our second and third years of law school. So much could have happened and we had only known each other for a year or so. But I suppose most people make these momentous life changing decisions without really planning them out as thoroughly as they think they should.

I remember my uncle talking to me in the back of the church before the ceremony. I remember him telling me that from this point forward I will have to put my wife first. He also said there will be days when I will want to throw her out the window but I have to remember to put her first if I wanted the marriage to succeed. I remember telling him that our family had many examples of good marriages that have withstood the test of time. I remember also saying something about how my father (his brother) had taught me about the importance of loyalty. He seemed taken aback and replied, “Loyalty is earned.”

As I said, I barely remember the rest of the ceremony. I do remember that the wedding venue in Salt Lake City my wife had picked out was a modern church with actual trees in planters behind the altar. She had the task of picking out the venue because I had a job in New Orleans and had to remain there for most of the summer. That was almost 18 years ago. We have certainly been through ups and downs in our relationship since that time. I do not see how I could have ever have been ready for most of it even if I did plan it more thoroughly than I had.